Proverbs 21:1

“The king’s heart is in the hand of the Lord,
Like the rivers of water;
He turns it wherever He wishes.”

This verse has always confounded me.  I can understand the words as they are constructed in a sentence.  But if you take a look at a map or think of a substantial river you have ever traveled down, and imagine that God’s by will and by God’s hand, He could turns it wherever He wills.  The power it would take to make a river be redirected from left to right or to flow between the mountains when before it flowed at the foot of the mountains.  It is hard to wrap my mind around that possibility.

And if you have ever come against a strong person or an unmovable situation, and felt utterly hopeless to affect either one, you might remember seeing the same challenge.  It can be hard to wrap your mind around the possibility that with the power of Lord’s hand, He can turn it all around at His command.

Most of my experiences have been good/bad or black/white or something that takes a long time to transition.  But in the last month, the world around each of us has changed.  It changed suddenly and drastically.  I am not going to suggest that God caused any of this.  I can only discuss what is happening in my life and how our current circumstance is affecting me.

I do know that for the last few years (at least!) I have said that I wanted a smaller world and slower pace.  I have voiced my desire to be in a position to focus on taking better care of our home, to be away from home less and to utilize other rooms in our home besides the office I feel chained to.  I have committed over and over to reduce my stress, walk outside, take a break and not push myself to be ultra-productive every waking minute.

I have been trying to “reduce my stress” for one thousand years and news flash:  has. not. happened.  I am super good at saying “YES” but not so much saying “NO”.  Besides, to who and to what do you say “NO” to anyway?  I struggle to let things go and not just the things that I believe in or think should happen.  I struggle with not stepping up when something needs to be done, said, gotten or whatever, so to let them just go…..undone….ACK!  What’s one more hour, one more task, one more call, or one more chore?

Because my husband and I already worked from home, our job-life did not change.  Because our daughter was already homeschooled, our school-life did not change.  The first change I noticed was the quiet.  The world was a little quieter.  Then a lot more quiet.  I was outside, sitting in a chair and closed my eyes and I could hear the evidence of a light breeze blowing over the leaves on the ground.  It was glorious.

After the first week of putting up groceries enough for a hurricane and setting up for quarantine life, we had a free night.  And then another.  And then another.  When worked concluded, I walked through back yard garden with husband and putzed around but when we came inside the house, it was only 6:30 p.m.  It was weird.  A free weekend followed and there was nothing scheduled.  It was weird.  It was glorious.

I told my mother recently that 3 or so week later, I finally feel a little stressed and a little less anxious.  I fantasize that with 3 or so months, I could be relaxed!  If you told me that God woke up one day and said, “I give up, that girl is never going to reduce her stress and learn to do less.  Shut down the world.  Just shut it down.”, I would believe you.  And I accept.

I accept this gift of a cleared schedule.  I accept the quiet.  I accept the opportunity to access where I put my efforts and where I spend my energy.  I accept the found time in form of additional minutes to rest because that gives me extra minutes to do that chore later.  I accept the extra moments I get to spend with God.  I accept that God may use this period to reveal His next assignment for me.

My heart is in the Lord’s hand.  And if He can turn the heart of a king, what can he do with mine?

Have you noticed the quiet?  I have.  I have noticed that the world outside is quieter.  Please, find a moment this week and close your eyes and listen, beyond the screaming in your own head or the hollering of the kids stuck in the house….listen to the quieter world.

God has allowed a halting of the grinding gears in our world, of our society, of our homes, of our work lives, of our schedules.  In a very short period of time, He has given us the blessing of a quiet moment in time if we will only hear it.

This situation is not pleasant for all and there are sick and hurting people, tired and discouraged fighters on the front line, and there are those who are dying.  And the truth is, every day before and every day after, these unpleasant realities will still be true.

But my prayer is that in the middle of this mess, you learn or gain a new appreciation of the JOY of the Lord.  Not the fear, not the anxiety and not the stress, but His holy JOY.  I hope you an see the good and remind yourself of God’s promises to His people.

Here are a few things I have reminded myself of these last few weeks:

“Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, and comes down from the Father of lights, with whom there is no variation or shadow of turning.”  James 1:17

When Joseph was dying, he spoke to his brothers, and with a hand on one hip and my finger pointing, I speak this to our Enemy –

“But as for you, you meant evil against me; but God meant it for good, in order to bring it about as it is this day, to save many people alive.”  Genesis 50:20

And again, to the Enemy I say –

“What then shall we say to these things?  If God is for us, who can be against us?”  Romans 8:31

Why would I think that? Because –

“We know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose”  Romans 8:28

And that is you and me.  You and me, we are called, for right here and for right now.  And when you are feeling overwhelmed and discouraged, get out of your head and speak the scriptures above directly to the enemy.

And if you need help to getting riled up in a new direction, turn up your volume and learn this song:

When I only see in part, I will prophesy your promise.  I believe you GOD.

Because you finish what you start.  I will trust you in the process.  I believe you God.

And fear can go to hell.  Shame can go there too.

‘Cuz I know whose I am.  I belong to YOU!

It is in the quiet that we hear God’s voice.  And never has our world been quieter.  When has so much of our lives come to a standstill?

The world around us will begin again.  See this time as a sweet gift that God has given us.  Use these found and quiet moments to seek the Lord.  What does He want to say to you?  What does He have for you moving forward?

Embrace the quiet and allow God to do a work in you and your family.  Get prepared for what is to come next in the Kingdom

Things are not normal.  They are NOT normal.  And there is talk of there being a new normal.

But before this virus and quarantine hit, weren’t we stressed?  And tired?  I know I was.  Do you miss driving ‘cuz I remember us being irritated that no one could drive or use their blinker but me and you.  Some of this is not new.  It is just different.  Different, not “normal”.

Sometimes we can get riled up and create anxiety trying to maintain normal, create normal and create routine.  The longer we go, the more riled up we can get.  Especially when our future looks to be in the hands of others and we our daily lives and the simplest activities are out of our control.

I see many clinging to the old way and lamenting all that they perceive as lost.  I hear the struggle as some hold so tightly to “normal” that I want to get everyone on a video call and, all together, on the count of three, let’s say, “Things are not NORMAL!”.

Release all of the ___________(insert what you need to)_____________ and take a deep breath.

• What does it matter if the house gets and/or stays clean or not? No one is coming over right now anyway
• Start a new project; don’t start a new project. Finish an old project; don’t finish an old project (queue video of paint swatches on the outside of my house from I don’t know when..).  Start a new project now and never finish it.
• Got kids at home trying to do school? First, trying to do school at home is not the same as homeschooling.  Second, any effort you make is great!  Your kids are fine.  Send some love to their teacher and throw in some Bible time and start over next year.  THEY ARE FINE!
• Some of us did leave home most days. But wasn’t that stressful too?  Could have sworn when I saw you last there was a deep exhalation and we were all “hanging in there”.

This could be an opportunity for you to do a new thing.  How many times did we say, I wish I did not have to go to work today and…..?  How many times did we wish we had time to clean, read, play a game with the kids, cuddle, walk outside and watch a bird?  This is our chance to throw away our schedules and….do a NEW THING!

And maybe God wants to do a new thing too.  Let’s remind ourselves of our first calling as wives and mothers, as husbands and fathers, and as sons and daughters of the risen Savior and as His chosen people to deliver His word to a hurting world.

First step?  Take all your fears and concerns and uncertainties, and lay those all down at the feet of Jesus.

I was in my quiet place (the bathroom) during my private reflection period (playing a phone game on the toilet hiding from the family).  The game I was playing is called Roller Ball.  It is a puzzle game and to clear the level, you move the channel pieces around the screen to provide a clear path for the ball to roll from one square to another.

Sometimes when I complete the puzzle, I get all three stars but I do not use all of the available channel pieces.  There is some fire iron pokey thing inside of me that pokes the embers of the ever achieving perfection and in this case, I started questioning if there was a way that I could complete puzzle using everyone of the pieces, every single time.

As I clear each level, I reevaluate my solution and the left over pieces.  Could I have used them?  Should I have used them?  Where could I have used them?  I do not see a point system on here, only the three stars.  But still, would it some how be more of an achievement to use as many as possible?  I do not want to just do the bare minimum and get by, right?  I want to earn those stars!  I want to really deserve them, without question.

And then in some moment of clarity, this question came booming forth – “What is the object of this game?”.

I actually left the board I was working on, to go and search for a help section or tutorial or anything that could clue me in on the pros/cons of using any and/or all the pieces or just some or….

What a waste of time!  We certainly could go back and forth on the answer that is obvious.  The object is to get the stars. The object is to maximize available choice to formulate the best path for the ball.  The object is whatever you determine because WHO CARES?

But that booming question was a voice in my soul that kept on nagging at me.  As I thought about all of the mental effort I wasted debating over this silly game, I became aware of this area and that area, where I have put this same type of fruitless effort into effect.  It is exhausting.  As I moved through the rest of the day, I kept asking myself that question – What is the object?

When the conversation that I am having is off topic, going on 20 minutes longer than planned and the sound of irritation is rising…what is the object of this call?  When my level of patience is decreasing with the kid, take a deep breath, in this very moment, really, what is the object here?  At the kitchen sink when I try to start a cup of coffee… while washing up those few things, while putting those spices back up in the cabinet , while putting the creamer back while…what was the object here?  What did I come in here to do?  What was that ONE thing?

Maybe, I could start making this my new practice as I move throughout the day.  Maybe this one question could help me keep my focus where it needs to be, blurring the rest.  Maybe this small change could provide some relief to that one throbbing muscle in my neck.

And, just a thought, I am thinking the object of my being on this earth may not to be a miracle worker after all.  I wonder why I keep trying to be one?